Bad night

Last night was a bad night. I snapped last night and freaked out, and I mean totally freaked out and yelled and screamed when there was no need to. I was out of line. I was also very upset and got to thinking how I have no one to talk to, that I am quite alone. I got to thinking, and of course started writing.

I'm all alone in this world
theres no one to hold
and no one to talk to
except my baby you

Thoughts are going through my head
as I lay here in this bed
slowly going crazy here
and sadly theres nobody near

This was the first one I wrote.... the next one is of similar context

Laying in this bed here
remembering when you were near
We'd talk about everything we did
Never did I imagine our friendship bent

The night would fall, we'd turn the lights out
your prents down the hall with all their doubt
They never thought I was good for you
but your sisters did, and your brothers too

I miss those times we used to have
all the times we'd share a laugh
How could I ever have known
that I'd be all this way all alone

You were in my life for 5 years gone
I sit here and wonder as I sing our song
When will I see you, how long will it be
and when you look, will you miss me?

This one I wrote as I thought about how alone I really am. Sure I have my mom and my sister, and yeah I do have friends...but I dont have anyone I can really talk to about my problems because...I dont want my mom to know about some of the problems I go through, and I dont wanna hear my sisters advise again... and I mean I have my love, but I cant vent to him about him can I?

But this is where my life is right now. Ive been here before, its just been so long since I had been this alone...5 years in fact...that I forgot how lonely it could be. I'll get used to it though, I did before, and I will again. To me, this is how my life is...friends come and go in life. Nothing lasts for ever. And if someday I find friends who will be there for me when i need them, friends I can vent to and talk about shit with...then thatll happen. For now, I'll vent and rant and write about it the only way I know how...in stories, in song/poems..and in blogs.

Till later,
Nessie <3