Being home is so relaxing, I know I dont need to worry about fucking bitches interuppting me and demanding my attention because apparently we NEED TO TALK! Home is safe, home is loving, home is wonderful...however I miss my babe. Sadly, he has to work 4-12 every day until mondya or tuesday :( this means I havent seen him since Monday, and I dunno when Ill see him next :( But he has got his phone, and we do get to text...its just sad that we both miss each other so fucking much!
On another note, Ive gotten 3 of 6 assignments scratched off my to do list for this weekend! 1 i cant work on cuz i have nothing to add to it (and as long as it doesnt relate to anything next week, it is done). Te other pone, all I need to do is take a picture of me in the fall colours by a tree and make the poster for parents. The other one I am done, and its not due until Nov 10! so yay me!! so proud of myself!
Anywho, just a quick little update, listenign to Tay Tay's album on REPEAT! Love it!
Till Later.
Nessie <3
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I dont take orders...
LMAO so, even though I am SOOOO pissed off right now, I need to laugh at the fact that people think they can order me around and make me do things! If you can't handle the honesty, then thats your problem, dont make shit so obvious then. If you were smart, you wouldnt have made fun of the way the word was misspelt, you would have said something like "wow, dont know how you messed it up, its so easy to spell!" or something like that...it doesnt give away what your saying! HA!
Anyways, I'm so fucking pissed right now and now I'm distracted from trying to study for my fucking test...thanks a whole fucking lot! But whatever, your loss, i dont care what you think right now. I've got enough on my plate with school and assignmnets then to worry about what you have to say to me.
If you HAD wanted to talk to me so badly, you would have tried. So I dont really give a fuck if you do wanna, or what you have to say. If I lose you as a friend, then you obviously werent my friend in the first place. But its funny why this is happening...
anywho, back to trying to study!
a very pissed off, but knows things will be better when Jeff texts me
Nessie <3
Anyways, I'm so fucking pissed right now and now I'm distracted from trying to study for my fucking test...thanks a whole fucking lot! But whatever, your loss, i dont care what you think right now. I've got enough on my plate with school and assignmnets then to worry about what you have to say to me.
If you HAD wanted to talk to me so badly, you would have tried. So I dont really give a fuck if you do wanna, or what you have to say. If I lose you as a friend, then you obviously werent my friend in the first place. But its funny why this is happening...
anywho, back to trying to study!
a very pissed off, but knows things will be better when Jeff texts me
Nessie <3
Monday, October 25, 2010
SPEAK NOW!!!
So OMG! speak now came out today and i LOVE it!!! Taylor Swift has gone beyond all my expectations. Among my favourites are Sparks Fly, Back to December, Dear John, Better than Revenge, Ours. Of course, i LOVE all the songs, but those are the ones I love best!
I'm gonna go through each song and review it...
The first song is Mine. Now, Mine has been out since August, and I've loved it from the very beginning! The song is so beautiful, like a love story/fairy tale thing. The video is SO empowering, and emotional. The song describes a happily-ever-after love, that Taylor says is how she pictures it happening...although we all know not everything we picture actually happens. However, the song is wonderful, and the lyrics relatable.
Sparks Fly is the second track. This song has been out for about 2 years now, but it was only a live version before hand. Taylor has changed the lyrics up a bit and made it so simple amazing! it is definatly one of m favourite songs on the CD, seeing as it has been one of my favourite songs since I first heard it! I wish she had left the lyrics, but the change may very well be for the better!
Back to December is a song about a love that she ended and wishes she could take back. Now, we, the fans, have been able to easily figure out it is about Taylor Lautner, but no matter who it's about, the song is simply beautiful. It's a sad love song, but the lyrics and the beat is just so empowering and emotional... it's definatly a song I'd listen to and cry if Jeff and i were to ever break up.
Speak Now is a song she wrote about a dream she had after a friend told her about an ex getting married. In her dream, she burst in a "spoke now" when the "preacher said speak now or forever hold your peace." the song is funny, and catchy, and just a good little song to listen to. It's not as personal as some of her other ones, but I'm sure there's a story behind it. There always is lol.
Dear John is a VERY long but wonderful song. It speaks of a man (john) who she fell for, but he played games. He never loved her, and left her alone to cry. A lot of people think it's about John Mayer, however, nothing has been proven. Many people also seem to thunk that the lyrics somehow say she slept (had sex) with him...I can sorta see it if thats what your looking for...and based on his rep its likely...but Taylor seems smarter...but you never know. Anyways, I love this song, the lyrics are amazing, and very poetic!
Mean is a song that I think is very catchy and funny. It talks about her being big and this guy just being mean. I love the beat to it, and cant wait to learn and sing along to it! Its a fun song, and talks about life and mean people.
The Story of Us is basically a song where she thougjht the relationship would last, and she'd tell the story of them, but the relationsip died and shes left alone in a room. I like this song, its a sad song, but again, the lyrics are amazing!
Never grow up...what to say about this song? its a song about her mobing out on her own and not wanting to grow up...it sings about a little grow asking never to grow up and stay young and innocent forever. It's definatly a song I'd wanna say to a little girl (let it be a niece that is yet to exist, or a friends child...etc) or even my own child. Its simple a beautiulf song.
Enchanted, the song sounds to be about a meeting with someone that was simple enchanting...it was wonderful and she wish it would have gone on, but nothing happened that night and she wishes, dreams and prays to meet him again someday. She hopes he doesnt love anyone, and that nobodys waiting for him. I quiet like this song as well!
Better than Revenge! Now, this song has a rock edge to it! I LOVE it! Its catchy and I'll be FOREVER singing it when I learn it! I love the way the lyrics are written, and I LOVE how she says "there is nothing i do better than revenge"! Definatly one of my FAVE songs!
Innocent, now this song was premiered at the VMA awards, and is typically about kanya West and the way he interupted her acceptance last VMA awards... the song is also about making mistakes and still being "innocent" because we all do it, and theres always a way to start over. I really love the lyrics to this song, because it is VERY relatable to a lot of people.
Haunted reminds me a bit of a Kelly Clarkson song..at least the orignal version does, jsut because of the beat of the song. Theres an aucoustic version included as well...anwyays it seems to be another break up song, however i still love it! The lyrics are quiet beautiful and, again, relatable for a lot of people!
Last Kiss is a sad song, personally. It reminds me, again, of something I'd listen to if Jeff and I were to ever break up, cuz the lyrics sound like what I'd relate to if it happened. I believe this one is also about Taylor Lautner, but I can't be sure. However, I lvoe the song!
Long Live, I can't exactly figure out what it's about...except a big moment that you want remembered. I like the lyrics, and they make me think of her mom or something...but it says "we were the kings and queens, and they read off our names"... unless shes talking about her band...im not exactly sure, but i love the song regardless!
On the delux version...there are 3 new songs!
Ours is my FAVOURITE because the lyrics are SOOO relatable for me and Jeff. Here are some I think we relate to...
I love Ours, its a song about a relationship that gets doubts, and worries, but the love is theirs and there is no worries because they love each other :)
If this was a movie is cute, about how perfect life is supposed to be, like in the movies, but obiovusly its not. I like the song, though.
Superman is like a dream song about a man who is "superman", hes perfect. However, hes gone, she "watched him fly away", and he is no longer hers. She wants him to come back, shes waiting on the ground for him to come back down. While he's gone, she doesn't want him to forget about her. The song is cute, i like it, and i love the title :) (smallville, hehe lol)
OVERALL i LOVE Taylor Swift's new album, and I HIGHLY recomend it to ANYONE! The songs are beautiful, meaningful, and perosnally, they touch my heart and make me feel Taylor's oain/happiness! Way to go Tay Tay, you have NOT failed to disappoint me, I knew you wouldnt!
A very happy and loving
Nessie <3
I'm gonna go through each song and review it...
The first song is Mine. Now, Mine has been out since August, and I've loved it from the very beginning! The song is so beautiful, like a love story/fairy tale thing. The video is SO empowering, and emotional. The song describes a happily-ever-after love, that Taylor says is how she pictures it happening...although we all know not everything we picture actually happens. However, the song is wonderful, and the lyrics relatable.
Sparks Fly is the second track. This song has been out for about 2 years now, but it was only a live version before hand. Taylor has changed the lyrics up a bit and made it so simple amazing! it is definatly one of m favourite songs on the CD, seeing as it has been one of my favourite songs since I first heard it! I wish she had left the lyrics, but the change may very well be for the better!
Back to December is a song about a love that she ended and wishes she could take back. Now, we, the fans, have been able to easily figure out it is about Taylor Lautner, but no matter who it's about, the song is simply beautiful. It's a sad love song, but the lyrics and the beat is just so empowering and emotional... it's definatly a song I'd listen to and cry if Jeff and i were to ever break up.
Speak Now is a song she wrote about a dream she had after a friend told her about an ex getting married. In her dream, she burst in a "spoke now" when the "preacher said speak now or forever hold your peace." the song is funny, and catchy, and just a good little song to listen to. It's not as personal as some of her other ones, but I'm sure there's a story behind it. There always is lol.
Dear John is a VERY long but wonderful song. It speaks of a man (john) who she fell for, but he played games. He never loved her, and left her alone to cry. A lot of people think it's about John Mayer, however, nothing has been proven. Many people also seem to thunk that the lyrics somehow say she slept (had sex) with him...I can sorta see it if thats what your looking for...and based on his rep its likely...but Taylor seems smarter...but you never know. Anyways, I love this song, the lyrics are amazing, and very poetic!
Mean is a song that I think is very catchy and funny. It talks about her being big and this guy just being mean. I love the beat to it, and cant wait to learn and sing along to it! Its a fun song, and talks about life and mean people.
The Story of Us is basically a song where she thougjht the relationship would last, and she'd tell the story of them, but the relationsip died and shes left alone in a room. I like this song, its a sad song, but again, the lyrics are amazing!
Never grow up...what to say about this song? its a song about her mobing out on her own and not wanting to grow up...it sings about a little grow asking never to grow up and stay young and innocent forever. It's definatly a song I'd wanna say to a little girl (let it be a niece that is yet to exist, or a friends child...etc) or even my own child. Its simple a beautiulf song.
Enchanted, the song sounds to be about a meeting with someone that was simple enchanting...it was wonderful and she wish it would have gone on, but nothing happened that night and she wishes, dreams and prays to meet him again someday. She hopes he doesnt love anyone, and that nobodys waiting for him. I quiet like this song as well!
Better than Revenge! Now, this song has a rock edge to it! I LOVE it! Its catchy and I'll be FOREVER singing it when I learn it! I love the way the lyrics are written, and I LOVE how she says "there is nothing i do better than revenge"! Definatly one of my FAVE songs!
Innocent, now this song was premiered at the VMA awards, and is typically about kanya West and the way he interupted her acceptance last VMA awards... the song is also about making mistakes and still being "innocent" because we all do it, and theres always a way to start over. I really love the lyrics to this song, because it is VERY relatable to a lot of people.
Haunted reminds me a bit of a Kelly Clarkson song..at least the orignal version does, jsut because of the beat of the song. Theres an aucoustic version included as well...anwyays it seems to be another break up song, however i still love it! The lyrics are quiet beautiful and, again, relatable for a lot of people!
Last Kiss is a sad song, personally. It reminds me, again, of something I'd listen to if Jeff and I were to ever break up, cuz the lyrics sound like what I'd relate to if it happened. I believe this one is also about Taylor Lautner, but I can't be sure. However, I lvoe the song!
Long Live, I can't exactly figure out what it's about...except a big moment that you want remembered. I like the lyrics, and they make me think of her mom or something...but it says "we were the kings and queens, and they read off our names"... unless shes talking about her band...im not exactly sure, but i love the song regardless!
On the delux version...there are 3 new songs!
Ours is my FAVOURITE because the lyrics are SOOO relatable for me and Jeff. Here are some I think we relate to...
Seems like there's always someone who disapproves, They'll judge it like they know about me and you, And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do, The jury's out, but my choice is you" ... "And it's not theirs to speculate, If it's wrong and your hands are tough but they are where mine belong and, I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you
Obviously, i think it's pretty obvious why I think we relate to these lyrics...people disapproving of us, judging us like they know us....speculating even though they have no right... but I have the faith and I choose him... "this love is ours"I love Ours, its a song about a relationship that gets doubts, and worries, but the love is theirs and there is no worries because they love each other :)
If this was a movie is cute, about how perfect life is supposed to be, like in the movies, but obiovusly its not. I like the song, though.
Superman is like a dream song about a man who is "superman", hes perfect. However, hes gone, she "watched him fly away", and he is no longer hers. She wants him to come back, shes waiting on the ground for him to come back down. While he's gone, she doesn't want him to forget about her. The song is cute, i like it, and i love the title :) (smallville, hehe lol)
OVERALL i LOVE Taylor Swift's new album, and I HIGHLY recomend it to ANYONE! The songs are beautiful, meaningful, and perosnally, they touch my heart and make me feel Taylor's oain/happiness! Way to go Tay Tay, you have NOT failed to disappoint me, I knew you wouldnt!
A very happy and loving
Nessie <3
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Infatutated?!?!
Ok so I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking pissed off! Like, honestly, SOMEONE is ENTIERLY out of line....now, i sya someone, but obviously I'm gonna post the picture WHY I'm pissed off...so it doesn't really matter if I mention her name or not...
TISHA! like honestly, who the fuck does she think she is?! Honestly, is she TRYING to fuck up my friendship with her as well? Because she is doing a fucking good job about it. However, I don't wanna say anything to her until she says something to me. Jeff advised me that it would be stupid to say something when I'm pissed because it may lead to losing another friend and he's right. So I'll just write a blog to vent because thats what I always do, because talking just isnt enough to get EVERYTHING i wanna say down. And if she sees this because someone is still crreping my blog like a loser she is, then hey, she sees it, her fault, i dont give a shit..
ANYWAYS, heres a little definiton of "infactuation":
- a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiaration
- puppy love: temp love of adolescents
- an object of extravagant short-lived passion
- an unreasoning love or attraction
- to inspire with unreasoning love or attachment
NOW does that REALLY sound like Jeff and I?! NO! FUCK NO! she has no idea what happens between Jeff and I, she has NO idea what Jeff and I are like...we do not have "unreasoned love or attachment" it is not "foolish and extravagant" and it is definatly NOT temporary!
It just pisses me off that she doesn't think I love him, and that he loves me! She has NO right to say ANYTHING about MY relationship without looking at HER OWN relationship first! There is a LOT I could say about her and her boyfriend...but i WONT because I consider her my best friend and friends DO NOT say shit about their friend's boyfriends...ok maybe I used to, but I havent in a VERY long time, and it's pretty immature of her to post something like that.
Did she think I wouldnt see?! Or did she want me to see?! and WHY would she say something like that? Like honestly, some friend she is, and to say it over twitter and not to my face like a TRUE friend would?! thats just PATHETIC! OBVIOUSLY I'm not a good enough friend to get the truth, obviously she doesnt think I'm worthy enough to be told the TRUTH!
UGH it just pisses me off SOOOOOOO fucking much!
So anyways...this is the picture..
If you cant see it, she says "Dont know how tou can mix that one up, I know how you mix up love with infactuation BUT everyone knows the E comes after the T! quITE, quIET"
And my thing says.... "Got another 3 curriculums done, and got 3 on both :) quiet proud of myself! midterm eval tomorrow!" As you can see, i made 2 mistakes...yes I spelt Quite wrong...but I ALWAYS make mistakes when I text because the keys are small and close togteher, an I have a habit of typing fast and not spell checking...the other error I made was that I said I got 3 curriculums done, and got 3 on both...I shoulda said I got 2 curriclums done and 3 on both...so the fucking E misplacesment WASNT that big of a FUCKING deal...she was juts trying to make an excuse to fucking BASH on me! FUCK! UGH!
I am NOT saying a word to her until she says something to me...she texted me the other week saying we "clearly" need to talk and fuckign CLEARLY we do if this is what she FUCKING thinks of me! UGH
a pissed off, but will be alright,
Nessie <3
*UPDATE!
Looking at my facebook, I had made the spelling error twice.... this one matched up with her post because they are both Oct 20....
Again, if you cant see my post... it says"
Anywho..again, until later,
Nessie
TISHA! like honestly, who the fuck does she think she is?! Honestly, is she TRYING to fuck up my friendship with her as well? Because she is doing a fucking good job about it. However, I don't wanna say anything to her until she says something to me. Jeff advised me that it would be stupid to say something when I'm pissed because it may lead to losing another friend and he's right. So I'll just write a blog to vent because thats what I always do, because talking just isnt enough to get EVERYTHING i wanna say down. And if she sees this because someone is still crreping my blog like a loser she is, then hey, she sees it, her fault, i dont give a shit..
ANYWAYS, heres a little definiton of "infactuation":
- a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiaration
- puppy love: temp love of adolescents
- an object of extravagant short-lived passion
- an unreasoning love or attraction
- to inspire with unreasoning love or attachment
NOW does that REALLY sound like Jeff and I?! NO! FUCK NO! she has no idea what happens between Jeff and I, she has NO idea what Jeff and I are like...we do not have "unreasoned love or attachment" it is not "foolish and extravagant" and it is definatly NOT temporary!
It just pisses me off that she doesn't think I love him, and that he loves me! She has NO right to say ANYTHING about MY relationship without looking at HER OWN relationship first! There is a LOT I could say about her and her boyfriend...but i WONT because I consider her my best friend and friends DO NOT say shit about their friend's boyfriends...ok maybe I used to, but I havent in a VERY long time, and it's pretty immature of her to post something like that.
Did she think I wouldnt see?! Or did she want me to see?! and WHY would she say something like that? Like honestly, some friend she is, and to say it over twitter and not to my face like a TRUE friend would?! thats just PATHETIC! OBVIOUSLY I'm not a good enough friend to get the truth, obviously she doesnt think I'm worthy enough to be told the TRUTH!
UGH it just pisses me off SOOOOOOO fucking much!
So anyways...this is the picture..
If you cant see it, she says "Dont know how tou can mix that one up, I know how you mix up love with infactuation BUT everyone knows the E comes after the T! quITE, quIET"
And my thing says.... "Got another 3 curriculums done, and got 3 on both :) quiet proud of myself! midterm eval tomorrow!" As you can see, i made 2 mistakes...yes I spelt Quite wrong...but I ALWAYS make mistakes when I text because the keys are small and close togteher, an I have a habit of typing fast and not spell checking...the other error I made was that I said I got 3 curriculums done, and got 3 on both...I shoulda said I got 2 curriclums done and 3 on both...so the fucking E misplacesment WASNT that big of a FUCKING deal...she was juts trying to make an excuse to fucking BASH on me! FUCK! UGH!
I am NOT saying a word to her until she says something to me...she texted me the other week saying we "clearly" need to talk and fuckign CLEARLY we do if this is what she FUCKING thinks of me! UGH
a pissed off, but will be alright,
Nessie <3
*UPDATE!
Looking at my facebook, I had made the spelling error twice.... this one matched up with her post because they are both Oct 20....
Again, if you cant see my post... it says"
Got my interview done for partnership, and did my first curriculum, recieving a 3 on it :D quiet proud of myself...doing 2 more curriculums tomorrow"
this was posted on Oct 20th, and so was her Tweet...but thats besides te point! Like fucking REALLY?! it just fucking PISSES ME OFF!Anywho..again, until later,
Nessie
Sunday, October 10, 2010
To you...
If you read this, fuck you! I am tired of your shit! I knew you were still creeping my twitter, you were always bad for stalking people on facebook, so why wouldn't twitter be any different? theres a reason i blocked you in the fucking first place! Now ive set my status to private, and you cant find anything out because ive also blocked tisha because for some reason i think she was 'reporting' everything to you! well back off bitch, im done with you! There is no trace of you in my life anymore, ive thrown out your pictures, deleted and untagged any picture of you, no matter who else was in it, or how cute it was! Im done with your fucking shit, and i am SO fucking done with you. If there was ever the smallest chance of us being friends again, its gone. So why dont you go fuck yourself and have a good life with your boyfriend, i could care less about you anymore!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Updated songs...
This post isnt for new songs or whatever...its for the updates on my old ones!
Tell me, can you feel the trust I see in you
The trust thats never ending
The one I can count on
no matter how great the battle
I kiss your cheek, whisper I love you in the moonlight
then I turn my back and walk out that door
Knowing I cant come back no more
Its a series of complications these things we call relationships
theres always ups and theres always down
and were all too afraid to turn them all around
I think back on what we had, all the happy things we did
I dont know what happened, Ive placed my last bid
its hard to continue this way
Just stay here in the bed you lay
Its only 2, but hey, Im working on em!!
Nessie <3
Tell me, can you feel the trust I see in you
The trust thats never ending
The one I can count on
no matter how great the battle
I kiss your cheek, whisper I love you in the moonlight
then I turn my back and walk out that door
Knowing I cant come back no more
Its a series of complications these things we call relationships
theres always ups and theres always down
and were all too afraid to turn them all around
I think back on what we had, all the happy things we did
I dont know what happened, Ive placed my last bid
its hard to continue this way
Just stay here in the bed you lay
Its only 2, but hey, Im working on em!!
Nessie <3
Many Songs!!
Wow! So as I was looking for the small songs I had planned on adding here, I came across a lot more then I ever realized I wrote! Things hidden away in the middle of a notebook, I guess i hid it so I'd find it someday lol...ANYWHO heres what I found:
Thunder crashes, rain falls
it's the calm before the storm
tears are falling down my face
i can't take this anymore
The earth shakes, the air cracks
my heart is breaking at the thought
of not having you in my life
and the happiness you've brought
My hand in yours our hearts are one
baby don't ever leave
I love you, forgive me
for just being myself
I honestly can't remember what this song was even about.... but I actyally kinda like it :)
Here's a small one..
I know, you know, how I'm feeling
But you don't understand it at all
This one I wrote on April 29th 2010, the day I told Jeff I loved him...BUT i wrote this BEFORE i told him...
My heart spells out a simple four letter word for you
It's taken a while for me to finally realize this
I've kept you waiting lone enoigh, babe and I'm sorry to say
That I've been waiting for the perfect time to admit the bliss
My mind has reazlied that there is no time to wait
speak the words your heart wants to
open your mouth and let the words fly out
jump in, take the plung and say
I-Love-You, you know I do
I-Love-You, I've fallen it's true
I-Love-You, I can't help but say
My heart's decided to feel this way
I found this one in a book that I wrote some songs in, and really liked it...
Sometimes I know its bad
to be the one you see in the mirror
but if your not, life could be hell
i dont think you wanna go that way
So be yourself, its who you are
if you dont like you, nobody will
be yourself its worked so far
i know its a long step up that hill
This is an old one I wrote, I dont like the whole song, just a few lines I wrote of it, so thats all I'm gonna post
It feels like it's time for me to move on
Everytime I think of you it hurts inside
I don't know what I'm going to do
It feels like I'm all alone
This is another old one that I like the one line of:
The leaves drope down like the tears in my eyes
Nothing can be done to my heart inside
Another old one...
It just won't go away
I just can't make it stop
the pain just sits with me
And All I can do is cry
This is a few random lines that don't fit together, for a song i wrote called "My Breaking Heart"
It seems everyone I loved, never appreicated me
What do I do, how do I deal with this
how could anyone ever live like this
This song was called "Dreams", it's a silly song I wrote when I was like 15 I believe....but only a few lines I really like
Fly high into the sky
never stop flying
reach your dreams
Never stop trying, fly fly fly
fly to the sky
This is a few random lines...
I'm here alone
because of what you did to me
your not the one I thought I knew
Not the one I grew to love
I'm here alone with these tears
going down my face as I think of you
I'm not exactly sure what I wrote this one about...I think it MAY have been Jeff.... but I can't exactly be sure...
I'm sitting here in my room thinking of you
wondering if your thinking of me
i close my eyes and see your face
and I wonder if you can see, see me too
Nobody realzies the pain this is
not being able to see you
All i wanna do is hold you
Oh god, I miss you
Why did everyone have to go and mess everything up
everyone is always trying to tell me what to do
I'm sitting alone in my room thinking of you
wondering if you are thinking of me..too
This song I wrote, when I was abput 16 or 17, and feelign quiet alone...
Nobody knows I'm crying on the inside
Nobody knows, the tears that fall down my face
I fake a smile everyday, so nobody will know
Nobody knows how lonely I feel
Nobody knows how lonely you make me
All anybody sees is that I'm happy
they dont know the smile I fake everyday
My friends can make me laugh, but I feel like crying
When I am alone I cry my eyes out
I feel so alone
They don't know, oh no they dont
they dont know how sad I am
They dont know, oh no they dont
that I fake it everyday
And another one...I believe I wrot ethis about 2 years ago...
Its so hard to decide what to do
Should I stay or should I go, I dont know
So much lies on what I choose
But i dont know what to do
This last one is about making choices and thinking
Sometimes I need to clear my head
I need to sit in the silence and dark, alone
I need the time to think it through
So please just give me space
If I asked you to go away, would you do it
If I told you I couldn't do it anymore, what wo0ud you do
Can you ever understand how it feels to be in the dark
do you know what it feels like, to hear the silence
Well, that's all I have to share!.... I've edited actually worked on some more of the others but I think I'll add that in another post because this one is fairly long! Hope you enjoyed!
I would also liek to add... REMEMBER RUBY!
Nessie <3>
Thunder crashes, rain falls
it's the calm before the storm
tears are falling down my face
i can't take this anymore
The earth shakes, the air cracks
my heart is breaking at the thought
of not having you in my life
and the happiness you've brought
My hand in yours our hearts are one
baby don't ever leave
I love you, forgive me
for just being myself
I honestly can't remember what this song was even about.... but I actyally kinda like it :)
Here's a small one..
I know, you know, how I'm feeling
But you don't understand it at all
This one I wrote on April 29th 2010, the day I told Jeff I loved him...BUT i wrote this BEFORE i told him...
My heart spells out a simple four letter word for you
It's taken a while for me to finally realize this
I've kept you waiting lone enoigh, babe and I'm sorry to say
That I've been waiting for the perfect time to admit the bliss
My mind has reazlied that there is no time to wait
speak the words your heart wants to
open your mouth and let the words fly out
jump in, take the plung and say
I-Love-You, you know I do
I-Love-You, I've fallen it's true
I-Love-You, I can't help but say
My heart's decided to feel this way
I found this one in a book that I wrote some songs in, and really liked it...
Sometimes I know its bad
to be the one you see in the mirror
but if your not, life could be hell
i dont think you wanna go that way
So be yourself, its who you are
if you dont like you, nobody will
be yourself its worked so far
i know its a long step up that hill
This is an old one I wrote, I dont like the whole song, just a few lines I wrote of it, so thats all I'm gonna post
It feels like it's time for me to move on
Everytime I think of you it hurts inside
I don't know what I'm going to do
It feels like I'm all alone
This is another old one that I like the one line of:
The leaves drope down like the tears in my eyes
Nothing can be done to my heart inside
Another old one...
It just won't go away
I just can't make it stop
the pain just sits with me
And All I can do is cry
This is a few random lines that don't fit together, for a song i wrote called "My Breaking Heart"
It seems everyone I loved, never appreicated me
What do I do, how do I deal with this
how could anyone ever live like this
This song was called "Dreams", it's a silly song I wrote when I was like 15 I believe....but only a few lines I really like
Fly high into the sky
never stop flying
reach your dreams
Never stop trying, fly fly fly
fly to the sky
This is a few random lines...
I'm here alone
because of what you did to me
your not the one I thought I knew
Not the one I grew to love
I'm here alone with these tears
going down my face as I think of you
I'm not exactly sure what I wrote this one about...I think it MAY have been Jeff.... but I can't exactly be sure...
I'm sitting here in my room thinking of you
wondering if your thinking of me
i close my eyes and see your face
and I wonder if you can see, see me too
Nobody realzies the pain this is
not being able to see you
All i wanna do is hold you
Oh god, I miss you
Why did everyone have to go and mess everything up
everyone is always trying to tell me what to do
I'm sitting alone in my room thinking of you
wondering if you are thinking of me..too
This song I wrote, when I was abput 16 or 17, and feelign quiet alone...
Nobody knows I'm crying on the inside
Nobody knows, the tears that fall down my face
I fake a smile everyday, so nobody will know
Nobody knows how lonely I feel
Nobody knows how lonely you make me
All anybody sees is that I'm happy
they dont know the smile I fake everyday
My friends can make me laugh, but I feel like crying
When I am alone I cry my eyes out
I feel so alone
They don't know, oh no they dont
they dont know how sad I am
They dont know, oh no they dont
that I fake it everyday
And another one...I believe I wrot ethis about 2 years ago...
Its so hard to decide what to do
Should I stay or should I go, I dont know
So much lies on what I choose
But i dont know what to do
This last one is about making choices and thinking
Sometimes I need to clear my head
I need to sit in the silence and dark, alone
I need the time to think it through
So please just give me space
If I asked you to go away, would you do it
If I told you I couldn't do it anymore, what wo0ud you do
Can you ever understand how it feels to be in the dark
do you know what it feels like, to hear the silence
Well, that's all I have to share!.... I've edited actually worked on some more of the others but I think I'll add that in another post because this one is fairly long! Hope you enjoyed!
I would also liek to add... REMEMBER RUBY!
Nessie <3>
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Excitement!
So, OMG! 8 months in less than 2 hours! Why does this excite me? for many reasons...
1. Jeff is my longest relationship...he has been for a while now, but honestly, I never actually thought I would ever see myself in a long realtionship before Jeff...I always thought I was destined for meaningless, loveless, pointless little relationships that never went anywhere and never lasted long... I thought guys didn't like me (and still...i feel that, although slowly im growing more confident thanks to my sexy, amazing and loving boyfriend!)
2. I'm in 3rd (tied i believe lol) for Jeffs longest relationship....this is a BIG step for him...espcially the loving me thing to begin with...personally, I like to think of myself as his 2nd longest relationship becase at least he has real feelings for me, he loves me... he only loved one other girl, his first girlfriend when he was like 18 or 19 or something....so in my opinion, of the relationships that really matter, I am 2nd best! ( well....he says i am THE best relationship hes ever been in, I make im feel so many things, its undescriable!!)
3. 8 months is close to a year...and a lot of people didnt think we would last long. People are stupid. If there was one singe thought that Jeff and i wouldn't last as long as we have, then I'm pissed at you! If youre a friend of mine, I'd hope for support and not assumptions about how long the relationship will be! I am so incerdiably happy with Jeff, and just know it will last!
Other things I'm excited for...
On the weekend, well Saturday, jeff and I kinda celebrated his birthday 2 weeks early. The fact is hes gonna start working saturdays again, starting this weekend, so we wont really have time to do it. Well, we were going to the mall anyways, so Jeff mentioned that while were at the mall, we might as well get his keys copied. WELL i was planning on surprising Jeff with copies of his keys as Tornot Maple Leaf keys...but since we were going, and he mentioned it, I figured I'd tell him... he loved the idea and of course we got it done.... and I GOT A SET OF HIS KEYS!!!!
It doesnt make a different really, i practiclly owned his keys anyways cuz hed leave them with me... but still, its good to have a set and see how much Jeff loves me, trusts me, and is 100% devoted to me.
The other thing we did for his birthday was make HIM a build a bear...of course its a Toronto Maple Leafs one... and he named it Beary Leafy lol, but he loves it, and was showing it (and the keys) off to everyoene. We ordered pizza rather than go out for dinner, but it was still awesome!
His last birthday gift I have for him is a photo album I've put together of us... its a surprise, and he wont get it till his birthday...and if possible i wanna give it to him in front of his family :) but we'll see what happens. I hope he likes it, I have a feeling he will..but who knows.
ANYWHO...I dont think I've got anything else to say...1 and a half hours till out 8 months :D
Till later,
A nessie full of love <3
1. Jeff is my longest relationship...he has been for a while now, but honestly, I never actually thought I would ever see myself in a long realtionship before Jeff...I always thought I was destined for meaningless, loveless, pointless little relationships that never went anywhere and never lasted long... I thought guys didn't like me (and still...i feel that, although slowly im growing more confident thanks to my sexy, amazing and loving boyfriend!)
2. I'm in 3rd (tied i believe lol) for Jeffs longest relationship....this is a BIG step for him...espcially the loving me thing to begin with...personally, I like to think of myself as his 2nd longest relationship becase at least he has real feelings for me, he loves me... he only loved one other girl, his first girlfriend when he was like 18 or 19 or something....so in my opinion, of the relationships that really matter, I am 2nd best! ( well....he says i am THE best relationship hes ever been in, I make im feel so many things, its undescriable!!)
3. 8 months is close to a year...and a lot of people didnt think we would last long. People are stupid. If there was one singe thought that Jeff and i wouldn't last as long as we have, then I'm pissed at you! If youre a friend of mine, I'd hope for support and not assumptions about how long the relationship will be! I am so incerdiably happy with Jeff, and just know it will last!
Other things I'm excited for...
On the weekend, well Saturday, jeff and I kinda celebrated his birthday 2 weeks early. The fact is hes gonna start working saturdays again, starting this weekend, so we wont really have time to do it. Well, we were going to the mall anyways, so Jeff mentioned that while were at the mall, we might as well get his keys copied. WELL i was planning on surprising Jeff with copies of his keys as Tornot Maple Leaf keys...but since we were going, and he mentioned it, I figured I'd tell him... he loved the idea and of course we got it done.... and I GOT A SET OF HIS KEYS!!!!
It doesnt make a different really, i practiclly owned his keys anyways cuz hed leave them with me... but still, its good to have a set and see how much Jeff loves me, trusts me, and is 100% devoted to me.
The other thing we did for his birthday was make HIM a build a bear...of course its a Toronto Maple Leafs one... and he named it Beary Leafy lol, but he loves it, and was showing it (and the keys) off to everyoene. We ordered pizza rather than go out for dinner, but it was still awesome!
His last birthday gift I have for him is a photo album I've put together of us... its a surprise, and he wont get it till his birthday...and if possible i wanna give it to him in front of his family :) but we'll see what happens. I hope he likes it, I have a feeling he will..but who knows.
ANYWHO...I dont think I've got anything else to say...1 and a half hours till out 8 months :D
Till later,
A nessie full of love <3
Quotes!!
So, I was going over an old Facebook note that I have in which I wrote a lot of quotes that I've come up with or have been inspiered by... I wanted to share a few of my faves!
"Never give up on something that you really want, because if you do you may be missing out on something that could change your life forever. Persue it until you can't do it no more."
"When you focus on the negative, the negative tends to happen. Focus on the positive and things will be brighter."
"Love, it isn't soemthing we choose to feel, or something we can control. It's something to hold onto, something to believe in, and something to never forget. No matter how much it hurts."
"Do you ever stop to think about why things have turned out the way they have? Do you ever wanna go back and relive a moment that was so perfect and happy, that you never wanna let it go? Always remember and never forget."
"Throughout life, there are going to be many hurts, but there will also be joys. Love is something that can both hurt us and make us joyful. In my opinion, love will be the main cause of both these feelings. But just know, even if you are hurt by love, love can also heal you from that hurt, because there is always someone out there who loves you and wants you to be happy."
"Years of friendship have brought us to this moment, the moment when you realize that life wouldn't be as great if you weren't in it, and that everything that has happened in life, has happened so that we could lead up to this moment, there moment where I can say, I love you."
"Music, the beat of the heart"
These are some of my fave quotes i've come up with :)
Until later,
Nessie <3
"Never give up on something that you really want, because if you do you may be missing out on something that could change your life forever. Persue it until you can't do it no more."
"When you focus on the negative, the negative tends to happen. Focus on the positive and things will be brighter."
"Love, it isn't soemthing we choose to feel, or something we can control. It's something to hold onto, something to believe in, and something to never forget. No matter how much it hurts."
"Do you ever stop to think about why things have turned out the way they have? Do you ever wanna go back and relive a moment that was so perfect and happy, that you never wanna let it go? Always remember and never forget."
"Throughout life, there are going to be many hurts, but there will also be joys. Love is something that can both hurt us and make us joyful. In my opinion, love will be the main cause of both these feelings. But just know, even if you are hurt by love, love can also heal you from that hurt, because there is always someone out there who loves you and wants you to be happy."
"Years of friendship have brought us to this moment, the moment when you realize that life wouldn't be as great if you weren't in it, and that everything that has happened in life, has happened so that we could lead up to this moment, there moment where I can say, I love you."
"Music, the beat of the heart"
These are some of my fave quotes i've come up with :)
Until later,
Nessie <3
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