Done

So, I've finally, after many thoughts, have come to the conclusions that Jess and I are pretty much done as friends. Too much has happened between us, too much has been said, and too much tension and strain in our relationship to make things work. Am I bothered by it? Do I feel heartbroken? Not really, to be honest. I think we both saw it coming for a while now, it was just a matter of who was going to state it first.

Things changed between us. She says I've changed; personally I don't see it. I think she's changed...she just isn't the same person I became best friends with. She's too worried about her looks, shes turned into a little party girl, she's not as fun anymore to be around... I just can't really stand to be around her. It sounds bad, but half the time her FB status's annoy me, things she says, things she does...I can't help it.

I have to admit, jeff is happy though, that I've decided to be done of her. He doesn't like her, and that was one of the main issues. I felt as if anything I said or did concerning Jeff, anytime I'd mention him or something, that she'd get annoyed or frustrated. A guy shouldn't come between friends, but if you let it, things like this happen. I'm not gonna be forced to choose between the two of them, and I think that's kinda what she was asking me to do, without actually using the words. It's like she expected me to say 'sorry babe but my friend doesnt like you so this isnt gonna work' pretty much like she wanted me to either dump him or just forget about him, just so she'd be happy.

I've never been happier with Jeff, he makes me feel safe, loved and, overall, special. If I wasnt with him, I'd be another lonely girl pretending to be happy. I felt as if she was asking me to give up my happiness to make her hapy. Whether or not this was her intentions, I dont know, but thats just how I felt and I wasnt going to do that.

I am hoping that someday, we can work things out and be what we used to be, but I have a feeling it may never come to be. Does this disappoint me? Only a little. Who knows what will happen in a few years. Maybe Jeff and I will break up and that will bring Jess and I together...maybe she and Richard will break up and she may turn to me and Tisha for comfort...anything can happen. But for now, I'll just have to wait and see.

Until then, here's something I've been working on:

I'm letting go
Moving on
trying to forget everything there was between us

Dry the tears
Force a smile
live my life the way its meant to be

Thats it for now,
Nessie <3