Alone

Have you ever felt so alone because people who you thought were your friends only talk to you when they have a question, and the one person you want to be with is miles away? Do you know how it feels to sit there and cry because all you want is a big comforting hug? I was feeling like this last night...

All I wanted was Jeff, all I needed was a hug from Jeff. I couldn't stop thinking about him, but his phone was charging and I couldn't talk to him, and all I wanted was to be with him. I cried quiet a bit because it got me thinking of other things, things that upset me, things that I hoped, and things I was worried for. This isn't ordinary love I have for him, the way I feel when we're apart, the way I am around him, and the way I can't stand the thought of losing him... this isn't just love, this is soul mates. I swear we were meant to be together.

I can't get into details, exactly, as to why I feel this, I'm on the wrong blog for that, but just because of things hes said, and wants to promise me...I know the impact I've made in his life, and the impact he's made in mine. I know we're meant for each other. Which is why I miss him dearly :(

I don't know, I feel as if I just...I feel like my friends arent my friends anymore. Jess barely ever talks to me, and Tisha seems only to talk to me when she has a question. They don't tell me anything anymore, and I think Tisha will be hanging with Jess on our birthday.

What bugs me is the fact that I had asked Tisha about 2 months or so ago about hanging with me, but that was when she and Jess were still fighting, everythings changed since they reunited. And Jessica, I doubt she'll care enough to even come down. And Jess will be busy with her boyfriend, and his dumbass friends who I cant stand anymore...I'll just have Jeff; which is no big deal, all I really want is to spend a nice day with my loving boyfriend, just me and him. I dont care what we do, as long as I do it with him.

I think we're going to dinner at the Mandrine and he said something about building a bear together, as long as he gets to name it. He said the name would be 'Vj', which, in all honesty, just sounds right :)

But whatever we do, I'll be happy. He seems concerned he only has 150 bucks, but i dont care, moneys not an issue. I even told him, we could go take Snoop for a walk and I'd be happy.

I'll update after my birthday :)
Nessie <3