It's been a while...

Holy Fucking Shit it's been a while since I've been on here! I honestly couldn't even remember my title and had to search for my gmail address to even remember the name to my blog site! No offence, blogger, but I do find Tumblr to be a better blog site!

Anyways, a lot of shit has happened in the past 2 years since I posted... Jeff and I got engaged, my parents separated, I lost all my friends, and I got married! But I'm not going to get into any of that, some is too depressing and some is just boring and the only thing worth posting is about my wedding but I've already written about that on my tumblr...

Again Tumblr is better... sorry but I don't think you have an iphone app, blogger...

However...what a great place for me to come vent to again if ever needed! I had forgotten all about this little old blog...

Oh the memories...

Anyways, just wanted to post since it's been forever!

TaTa for now,
Nessie <3 br="">

Taylor Swift songs (not her love ones!!)

Hey people! I've missed my blog sooooo much! I'm hoping this connection will appear for days/weeks to come! But here is what I have to say....I am sick and tired about people complaining about Taylor Swift ONLY singing about love...you wanna know what?! Some of her love songs aren't even about love! They are about friends/family! I am here to name those songs!

Let's start with the Taylor Swift debut album: Taylor Swift!

The Outside is a song about how she was excluded and ignored by friends at school. When Taylor was younger her friends abandoned her and left her alone. This song was written about how she felt during this time and how she's never been "on the outside looking in" as in looking in at the cool people. I love this song because I can relate!

Tied Together With A Smile is about a friend of hers who was so beautiful but this girl thought she was imperfect and began to have an eating disorder. Her friend became very sick due to this and Taylor wrote this song to give inspiration and hope to her friend, and to show her how beautiful she really was.

A Place In This World is about finding who you are and where you fit in the world. It is a song about growing up and finding yourself.

Taylor Swift: Fearless

Fifteen is about Taylor's freshman year of highschool. It states everything from the first day, finding a best friend and falling for the "cool" guy in school. This song is about starting new, and sort of about finding where you belong.

Breathe is about a friend who left her alone, abandoned her. A friend who chose to walk away. I love this song because I can relate on many levels.

The Best day is a song Taylor wrote for her mother about how she always has a great time whenever they are together. Her mom is like her best friend, a person who will never walk away, no matter what. I love the fact that she dedicated the song to her and made a personalized video using home movies for mothers day.

Change is a song about, well change. How if you keep trying and never back down things will go your way.

Taylor Swift: Speak Now

Mean s a song that was wrote for a critic who left a very mean review about her. I can totally understand her reasoning for this song, those people are plain rude!

Never Grow Up is a song Taylor wrote about moving out on her own, and how she wishes she could just go back to the way it was. We all feel that way sometimes and I have to say this is one of my favourite songs.

Better Than Revenge is a song she wrote about a bitch who stole her boyfriend. Amen sister, this is my bitch-out song!

Innocent is about the award show incident and how she forgives people because we really all just innocent. It's about how life was easier as a child but we all need to grow up at some point.

Long Live is about her band, her fans, and how she is so appreciative of the life she has.

Bonus tracks:

Safe and Sound is a song I love. It reminds me of a torture love song... how at the end of the day as long as you're together, you'll be safe.

So that's it! I can't wait for her new album! Should be out this fall! She doesn't just write songs about love, she wrotes about things that matter...LIFE. Her songs are REAL and VERY relate-able! I am a PROUD Swifty!

TAYLOR SWIFT!

OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! Last night was incredible! I got to see my idol, my inspiration, my favourite singer perform live! That's right, after 5 years of being a fan finally got to see Taylor Swift perform at the ACC! And what a fucking PHENOMENAL show it was! Honestly Taylor Swift puts on the best stage performance I can imagine. Even Jeff agreed that she is the best he has seen when it comes down to stage performances and he has seen a lot of concerts.

Thats right my baby came with me and he enjoyed it. Taylor Swift is amazing live! She actually sounds like she does on her album! I have heard her before on awards shows and such but those shows are nothing...NOTHING compared to what she actually sounds like up close and personal! I still can't believe I got the chance to see her!

My mind was blown last night! Jeff was surprised with how quickly she could change outfits...shed switch a dress in like 5 seconds! It was amazing! I screamed, danced, and sang the ENTIRE time! I never sat down once after she appeared on stage! I nearly lost my voice...and thats how it should be when you go see the ONE singer you would die to see...and I saw her!

And thats just the start to this weekend! Today Jeff and I got see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in 3D! I am sooo stoked! I know I;m going to cry...I know I'm going to laugh...and I know it's gonna be the end... it's a depressing thought but exciting as well!

I bought a purple Speak Now bracelet, 2 leather taylor swift bracelets (one speak now, one fearless), as well as a purple Taylor Swift Speak Now World Tour bag, thats also purple. Jeff bought me t-shirt!


Overall it was just an amazing concert though. Taylors stage presence is.... its like....I don't know. The crowd loved her too....I swear we didnt stop screaming for her! I loe her so much! And since Jeff enjoyed it so much...and since i will hopefully have my g2 by next year...and since I already have a car.... and since I have a credit card...yeah I plan on going to ALL her concerts in T.O. or the surronding area....yup I will. I cant believe how amazing it was...actually I can but Still!

I am sitting here listening to Taylor Swift as I write this...my post-swift-ness never leaves me! It's a non-stop Taylor Swift show for me! I will forever relive her performance every time I listen to one of her songs now!

An overly excited,
Nessie <3

I GOT A JOB!

I am soooooo excited! I GOT A JOB! Yes, after a MONTH of searching endlessly, I have finally found employment! AND ITS AT A DAY CARE CENTER with the TODDLER age group! So, in reality, I am not starting a job....I'm starting my CAREER! I am so happy!

The center is really good as well! AND i know one of the toddlers as well! Sumer's mom is quite happy about the fact that Im working at the centre her daughter is in! And Sumer just LOVES me too! I went in to observe on Thursday morning, to see how I handled myself in the room and with the children, and Sumer smiled at me and played with me, as well as some of the other children as well!

It happen fast too! I had the interview Tuesday and it was a very informal interview and I wasnt sure how much i would like it, but when they called me wednesday and asked if I could come in Thursday for the observation i thought what the hell, I need a job...and I actually ended up really liking it!

I start Monday, 11 an hour, benefits, and come october I get an automatic bonus! So things have worked out after all!

I am really happy about all of this!
Nessie <3

Songs and poems...

So just wanted to say I've made a new blog for songs and poems so it doesnt clutter this blog up too much!

COMPUTER!!

SOOOO excited! I got my computer back on Thursday! Bad side...the guy I stole internet from has passworded his internet so I gotta travel to the library everyday to use their WiFi...ah well! I am just so happy to have my laptop back!

In other news....fuck it was cold on Sunday! Jeff ha a baseball game and I sat outside in the freezing cold rain for 2 and a half hours! I was sooo fucking cold! AND I had on a sweater, my coat AND jeffs sweater! But seriously it was cold! Their team lost by 1 run too :( they woulda won had the captain called it at the 5th inning like the other team wanted but they decided to play it out another 2 innings and ended up losing by 1...1 run! AH well even though it was cold, I always love watching my baby play...oh the things I do for love!!

Ive been so fucking bored these past few days but i cant seem to find a fucking job! I was supposed to have an interview with a couple this week but they fucking canceled on me because they found care through a neghbor! UGH so annoying! However I did get a reply back from a centre I emailed a month ago that they were iterested in an interview with me so....fingers crossed!!!

Anywho... I dont have much more to say I guess....supposed to be handing out resumes tomorrow..OH wait Jeff got a new job! I am so happy for him!!! <3 <3 thins are looking up for him...now just gotta get things up for me!

Ok now Im done...I think...fuck im gonna be bored...guess its time to go home and read....again...like ive been doing the past 3 weeks....*sigh*

Till later,
Nessie <3

Catch up!

Wow has it ever been a while since I last posted! Let's see what's happened since then...

Well I've offically moved into Jeff's! Thats right Jeff and I are now living together! It's not much different then it was before when I would spend most of my days there, however with the adjustment of my things and his things and how each of us do things...yeah its an adjustment, but we're doing it.There are going to be ups and downs, but in the end I know we will make it work because we both love each other very much and can work through anything.

Next thing...I finished school! With very good marks as well! I finished with an 82% average this semester, and 81% average overall of all 4 semesters! I am so proud of myself!! But of course this brings me to finding a job, which of course is not an easy thing! It's very frustrating and a never ending process but I really need one, as I only have enough money for rent next month and then...I'm broke. But I'm working on it...

Oh! And speaking of finishing school I went to Rev with a bunch of friends to celebrate the end of school....yeah it sucked, I hated it. SOOOO not club girl! First of all the music was shit, it sucked! Nothing good AT ALL to dance to! Also, drinks are too expensive, I only bought one and it cost me 6 bucks! (however I had drank before we went, and let me tell you, the predrink was SOOmuch better than the actual drinking!) And guys just fucking PISS ME OFF! what gives you the right to grab someones waist and try to pull them into a dance! (this happened twice! UGH!!!) and what the fuck makes you think I want you touching my fucking ass! (an asshole did this and I was sooo disgusted! EWW!) and I hate guys coming up to me and two guys did just that to compliment me on myoutfit (they only did it cuz it was low cut). So not going there again! Did not have a good time! However I am up for stampede, which I believe Jane is gonna let me know the next time she goes, cuz hey, Im a country girl!

I've also did all but my in car dirvers trianing and I really enjoyed it! The in class stuff was really fun actually, as the instructor was really funny and kept it interesting! I liked it...now I just want some more practice on the road before I do the in car hours so that I actually pass it with a good mark!

Downside of things...my fucking computer messed up and I had to take it in to be fixed so I am stuck coming to the library every day to use the computer for an hour or so so I can check my email and look for a job. Sucks cuz I can't do the things I enjoy doing (like writing) and I havent gotten to see Starship yet (starkids newest musical!!!) and I am DYING to watch it! Oh well guess I'll have to wait for the call that says my computer is ready! (they said 10-15 business days...its been 11 lol)

I also was very sick the last week of school and sooooo should not have been there AT ALL but seeing as I had finals and shit to do I went, feelings like I was going to puke...which may be the reason I got 56% on myone exam...I couldnt focus on what I was reading and could not recall ANYTHING! Not to mention the fact that the stupid teacher decided presentations was a better way for us to learn than, you know, her actually teaching us! Sure I can read the text book and go oer the slides on my own, but I'm not going to fully understand unless they are explained to me...which they werent! Oh well its over at least...

This past weekened was amazing too :) Friday a bunch of Jeffs family went to the Mandrine to celebrate the graduation of me, his mom, and sister in law! We all finished school this pastmonths! His mom and Bruce got me the dresser :) I got tulips from a family friend...or cousin..im not really sure haha but they were pretty :) And my love Jeffie got me a BEAUTIFUL boquet of lillies and other flowers, as well as money in a card which went towards a new camera since the lens on my other ones busted somehow..everyone keeps sayig it was cu I was drunks but I WASNT! I only had 6 drinks in like 7 hours...I was soooo not drunk! I think it banged against something..or it was from the stuff that spilt on it and it just got stuck, I dunno, but it wasnt cuz I WAS DRUNK! oh well this new one is better :) HD and everything!!! So cool! The staurday was nice as well as we went out and a bout, to see his mommy, do groceries, and get me my camera! We had a drink at Mongolias with his brother to thank him for driving us around, and we took snoopy on a nice loooooong walk :) Sunday I went to visit my mommy for mothers day with my sister and hung with my sis for a bit too. Overall it was just a really good weekend!

Of course there was drama in it, but if you focus on the bad then you forget about the good, and the goood out weighs the abad BIG TIME so who cares a bout all the shit that went down, I'm just happy with everything else!

Today is my parents 27th anniversary, it's hard to believe theyve been together so long, but I knowthat thanks to them it is possible to stay together through thick and thin. I have high hopes for Jeff and I, if only because of the wonderful role models I have as parents.

Anyways, I think thats everything to say for now...
Till later,
Nessie <3

9 words men should know

I have seen these 9 "woman's statements" before, and I actually find them quite true. I'm going to add some stuff to them though...

(1). FINE This is a word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to SHUT UP!
I want to add here that sometimes we say "I'm Fine" when asked "are you okay" and almost always we are never "fine", we mean "leave me the fuck alone you've made me angry!"

(2). FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed this means half an hour. 5 minutes is only ever 5 minutes if you have just been given 5 minutes more to watch the game before helping around the house.
This isn't true for all woman, I don't take that long to get ready, so this one more goes towards the woman, rathen than woman in general.

(3). NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes and be worried. Arguments that begin with nothing usually ends in fine. (go back to No.#1 for fine)
This is basically true I'd day...although sometimes nothing really is wrong it all goes towards HOW we say it...if it's casual and we don't seem like anything wrong, don't prode, or you WILL have a problem.

(4). GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!
Very true, I would say... go ahead is how we say "do you want to see what happens if you do it?"...just don't unless you want to start a fight.

(5). LOUD SIGH This isn't actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks that you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with u about nothing.(refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).
Eye rolling typically goes along with this...never ask why we are rolling our eyes, cuz typically it means we think you are stupid and wonder why we waste our time...and asking why we are rolling out eyes or sighing just pisses us off!

(6). THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements, a woman can make to a man. THATS OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistakes.
Ever wonder what a good response is? When we say "Alright" or "Yup"...any other response to a question typically means NO!

(7). THANKS A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome. Unless it's said 'THANKS ALOT' - that is Pure Sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT SAY 'YOUR WELCOME'... That will bring on a WHATEVER.
And never ask "thanks for what" it pisses us off!

(8). WHATEVER Is a woman's way of saying, FUCK YOU!
I have nothing to add...that's just plain true...

(9). DONT WORRY ABOUT IT Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "Whats wrong?'' For the woman's response refer back to # 3.
True, if you don't want us cranky, just DO IT!

Alright hope you liked it
And any men out there..BEWARE!
Nessie <3

gslkdj!! UGH!

Alrighty so I got the mark back for that inclusions assignment I went crazy over with my group...and guess what....all the work that I did had exceptional marks! The work I relied on my group to do was poorly done!

I am so pissed off about this because I TOLD my group that the research needed to be added and it WASNT!

What did I do in this assignment? The ELECT and Miestone section of the chart (which recieved full marks), the Part D (23.75/25) and part E (46/50, which the teacher said was the best mark on that part shes seen so far in my class) and the presentation (12.9/15). So, as you can see, anything I put my effort into got very good marks. My group, however, caused the paper work assignmnet to be 17/25 total, which is only a 70% mark! I am so pissed off at this because had they added the research to the chart like I had CLEARLY stated in the email I sent along with the ELECT and Milestone info on the chart, we would have gotten fill marks!

As well as my group obviously didn't read the actual information on WHAT we were supposed to add....

Had I did the whole thing on my own we prob would have gotten like 85 on everything...but no they were fucking idiots and didn't listen to me! So we ended up with a 70% on the paper work.

Our teacher even said we had done a very good job and had the research been added, we would have done VERY well on it. hgkjhad;klgjad;! thats all I gotta say!

Ugh I am not happy with this mark!

A pissed,
Nessie

more writing :)

So I've been writing more little blurbs :) here they are!

You don't even notice how I feel
and baby you don't care if its real

The story starts with you and me
sitting under a shaddy tree
I was sitting there reading my book
When I saw you give me that look

I never thought itd be you
but you made me fall, that is true
you werent supposed to make me feel this was
now I hope it never goes away

Falling rain shows your pain with eyes about to explode

I just can't get enough of your lips on mine
and after all thsi time you still dont mind

I'm one tear away from a big mistake
if I do my herat will break
I cant do that to him I cant do that to me
why cant it be like it used to be

Dont let him change you
look him in the eyes and say

take me as i am or set me free
i wont be anyone else but me

Take a deep breath
let it out slowly
you dont to feel lonely

Look inside and find me there
You know baby I care

Put me in a white gown
marry me today
meet at the preecher
I wont run away

A ring on my left hand
making me your wife
I promise to be there
the rest of my life

you in your black suit
baby I love you
staring deep in my eyes
as I say I do

Take me away
Carry me with the wind
Times going slowly
But I need it to go so fast
I dont wanna be me
I wanna be someone else
Look out, be something new
I dont want this, im through

I wanna run free
like the hores you see
galloping without a care
Running around, wild out there
No reins to tie them down

I wanna soar high
like a bird in the sky
flying far away
wings spread, gone all day
no need to land on the ground

To be s0omething else
just for a day
would make eveyrthing go away
The stress and the tears
I dont wanna hear
anything youve got to say

My hands are shaking in a rage
I should be locked in a cage
I am loose, wild and free
You should be running away from me

:)
Nessie <3

YAYYYYYY!

YAY!!!

My inclusions presentation is DONE! And we did very well (I think anyways lol, I won't know until next week). It was so nerve wracking though, trying to get all the shit done, however in the end it was and the rubric was followed to the best of my ability, and I think we included all the necessary info.

I ended up doing a lot of work though, and if it wasn't for me out group would not have been so organized (according to the other 2 members anyways).

Anyways, I'm just happy that 45% project is over with and the only thing to focus on in that class now is a test on the last day.

Now for stress for the debate tomorrow....philosophy presentation next week....and getting the final papers done! lol

FINALLY!

So I was finally emailed the info for the inclusions assignment and did my part of the chart...took me 3 hours just to do that! I still have to the planning chart for it but I need my textbook for that so that will have to wait until tomorrow...also I apparently have to do the powerpoint which means I have to rely on them to send me ALLLLLLLLL the information for this project to get the presenation finished for Thursday.... its gonna be a long next few days :(

As well as I have to work on the debate....which is friday....ugh I hate group projects!

so fucking pissed!

Ok I am so fucking pissed off right now! I've got this huge project dur on Thursday and as far as I know NOTHINGS DONE! Except for the observations....which I don't have because I didn't do it, someone else in my group did. Here's a little warning to everyone out there..... DO NOT WORK ON PROJECTS WITH PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW! I joined this group because we had an interest in the same topic, and I didnt have anyone to work with. It was the first day of the semester and I only knew one person in my section....but she already had a group to work with. So I joined two girls who shared an interest in the same topic.

Well guess what happens...

The observation was done over the study break....BACK IN FEBRUARY! there has been PLENTY of time to send off the information and get started on this project...but no...wasnt done! I've been emailing the one with the observation for the past 2 WEEKS and she has YET to send it to me. It is now Sunday, our project and presenation is THURSDAY we need to email the planning charts on WEDNESAY at 10am (24 hours before the class)....but how the fuck are we supposed to do that if the project is not done. How are we even going to finsih this fucking thing in 4 days? I've spoken to friends in my class and other sections, this is NOT an over night project. This is something that will take DAYS to comeplete....

Fuck I am so worried, and pissed off, and angry right now! I don't know what else I can do. Emailing Lana wont help, she'll prob say I shoulda chose my group better....besides shes not even going to be there on Thursday were going to have a dif teacher come in (the other sections teacher...who isnt that good a teacher)....fuck im so worried, stressed, scared...and pissed off righ about now!

I FUCKING HATE GROUP PROJECTS!

The stress is kicking in!

The stress is kicking in, that's for sure! I haven't had a good nights sleep in like 4 or 5 days now! It's all because of stress from school. They weren't kidding when they say 4th Semester is tough, it such as fuck is!

Let's have a summary of what I have to do still....

1 journal worth 40% (which I can't start too much because we have yet to cover the material in class), a display that we stand in front of for an hour in the B wing (20% I believe).

1 test (30 % I believe), an indoor/outdoor safety check list (which I have completed the checklist part and have to add in the "action required" part) worth 10%, a potluck (which we are doing friday) worth 5%, a self evaluation wirth 5%.

A debate (which my topic is messed up for) 15%, an annotated bibliography to go along with the dbeate (20%), a final paper (40%) which I have yet to start because I don't really understand and she has yet to explain properly...

An essay (40%) which I have started a little bit on but don't really understand, a presenation, and a professionalism evaluation (5%)

A journal (45%) which is ongoing throughout the semester, and an inclass activity (10%)

a BIG presenation which I have yet to do anything for cuz my stupid group memebr hasnt emailed me the observation!!! and a test

And of course to finish placement, which I have 4 curriculums to do still....

It's getting really overhwelming to look at all of these things and try to fit them all in...but you gotta do them one but at a time...

Like focus on whats due this week (potluck and an inclass acitvity), and get those done (obviously an in class activity I cant do before hand, so the potluck) then look at whats due next week (Presenation-the one my group member HASNT emailed me the thing for!!!) and my debate...and focus on those. It's hard, I know, but I have to do it.

I wanna get started on these other things, but first priority comes first. I have to do whats due first or I'll fall behind on those. That being said...I really need to find my 3 articles for my debate. I found 1 for sure, I need to ask about the 2nd...but the 3rd has me puzzled :( oh well, gotta do it! I just need to find them for the debate, the annotated bibliography has the oppertunity to be due the week after so I'm gonna take that chance!

*sigh* but its still stressful!

A stressed,
Nessie <3

updates!

Here's a poem I wrote the other day:

It was nice to see you the other day
It's good to know your doing Ok
We gtalked not of you or of me
But for a moment it was like it used to be

We smiled like it was before
Sometimes I wish we'd do it more
I think of you often, just thought you should know
I thought I had finally let you go

Changed happen throught life time
sometimes it's good, sometimes I'm fine
I may not have cried abiut it at all
Maybe I knew someday youd call

Maybe we can have a fresh start
Maybe this time we will not part
Things in the past put behind us
Never again to be a fuss

So talk to me and hear me out
I don't want to see you pout
Smile we may again be friends
Maybe this time not to end

Here's something else I wrote....

I know you've dated more beautiful girls than me
But I promise you I'll be the best I can be
I'll shower you with all the love in the world
Or at least all the love you an hold

And this...

Were you ever really there?
Did you ever really care?
Was I just a dare?
Was I just to spare?

We were a great pair
And now you only glare
your hearts in a tear
Too much too bear

Feels like I need air
All I do is stare
It's just not fair
Oh where are you, where?

And a quote I came up with...

"Life gives us many changes; it's up to us to decide what to face and embrase, and what to throw away"

And last, but not least, this (which I wrote today)...

My hands are shaking in rage
I should be locked in a cage
I am loose, wild and free
You should be running away from me

Just thought I'd update you :) Oh, and I've gotten another song ALMOST complete :)

Nessie <3

Drunk fucks!

Fuck this place is going to drive me sooooo fucking crazy tonight! I can not fucking stand drunks! Already, and it's only 7:30pm, 3 times I've been annoyed by drunks...and I was just doing laundry! First was some fucking annoying girls in the elvator....2nd was the noise of people in the lobby going down to the laundry room...and the 3rd time was coming back up with my clothes and these 3 fucking guys talking to me VERY annoyingly asking me, pretty much, to go have a few drinks with them...they asked what year I was in and asked how I liked rez for 2 years so I HAD to mention I spent most of the time at my boyfriends JUST o I could get them to LEAVE ME ALONE!

Fuck this night is going to be annoying! I wish I could go to Jeffs but hes going out tonight....fuck!

I hate drunks, I really do! Why do these people think alcohol i the answer to everything! FUCK I hate drunks! I hate drinking, I hate alcohol! I hate people who think they need it in their lives!

fuck fuck fuck!
I hate this night!

Holiday are not what they are!

So heres my newest rant....how people seem to take holidays and chnage them for their own convience! Nothing is celebrated for the proper reasons anymore! What bring sthis to my attention? Well today is St. Patrick's day, and I'm pretty sure the history behind this day is NOT about getting drunk!

Looking up a bit of information on it, it seems as if St. Patrick's day is supposed to be a religious holiday. It is celebrated by attending church, fasting, and, yes drinking...but NOT GETTING DRUNK! I can not even find WHY people INSIST on getting drunk during this day. It takes away the whole reason of celebrating. Why get drunk, I still dont see the purpose in it. Its stupid really, drinking, getting drunk.... why do something that your not even going to remember later....

And its not just St. Patrick's day that demeans the holiday spirit...Christmas is forgotten about its true reasons, people have changed it to presents and not about the true reason, the birth of Chirst. Easter is about Candy and not about his reserection (spelt wrong lol but w.e).... Valentines day is about cards and not about St. Valentine... every holiday can be taken a look at and seen where it is beyond what its supposed to be. People don't care about the reason anymore, its juts been so thrust upon them through their lives as children as what the made up reason is that they forget the real reasons.

I'm ashamed...although I will admit I dont celebrate for real reasons, but I'm not religious...instead I choose not to really celbrate (with the exception of Christmas, however that I see more as a family thing than a present thing). I dont care about Valentines day, I can go without the romance, cards,candy ect. I dont care about St. Patricks day I'm not even going to drink...I just don't care.

Of course in todays society it's just another reaosn to drink. Well drink up you fucking idiots! Your just ruining your lives that way anyways.

Till Later,
Nessie

sick :(

I am sick! It sucks! It started on Sunday, when I woke up with a sore throat and sore shoulders and neck. I thought the sore throat was from dryness in the air, and that my shoulders and neck were sore from sleeping badly. However, the ore throat didnt go away and the pain from my shoulders and neck extended down to my back. At this point, I knew I was getting sick.

Later that night I was beginning to feel weak and tired, so I stopped doing the dishes and went to lay on the couch to watch a movie. I began to feel cold as well, and a headache started to bloom. When Jeff got home he touched my forehead and said I was very hot...we layed in bed and he could feel the heat emitting of my body, while he wasnt even under the blanket and I was. I had troubles sleeping and everything...it sucked!

Monday brought along my sore throat and a bit of aches and pain but it wasn;t so bad...until later that night. My throat was hurting so badly I wanted to cry. I had given Jeff money to buy me medicine so I was sooo happy when he got home...however, my fever had returned and I was warm again. Again I had trouble sleeping.

Today, I awoke early because I couldn;t get comfortable and my throat was still sore. I took some of the pills Jeff got me and had a tea, it helped a bit. I showered, and it helped a bit too...however, I was hungry but my throat was too sore to really eat anything that crunchy or hard, and I couldnt think of anything else that we had that I could eat. So I started to feel sick... like really sick. I left with Jeff when he went to work so I could get come soup from timmies and buy jeffie a coffee. While standing in the timmies line I almost puked..and again while I was walking to a table to eat at...but while I ate I was starting to feel a bit better, however still sick.

Here I am, 2 and a half hours, still feeling sick but slowly eating some small things....a yogurt, a nectarine....but its not really helping :( I just wanna feel better! I think I'm a little warm still too... but its hard to tell by yourself if you have a fever....*sigh*

A sick,
Nessie <3

Writing like CRAZY

SOOOOO!

I've been song writing like crazy! lol. I wrote yet another song that I just LOVE so much yesterday! I call it "shedding tears", however, dont be mistaken by the title, its actually very beautiful, loving, and romatic of a song and I wrote it in honor of the love of my life...because it is EXACTLY something he would say to me...and does actually lol. I'll share a bit of it:

Please don't look at me
With tears rolling down my face
I'm ashamed of how I look
With my eyes so blotchy red

I'm not so perfect
In case you haven't noticed
So why can't you see me
For what I really am?

And he said

Baby in my eyes your perfect
I don't want you any other way
I wish you'd see you
The way I do

Your beautiful, your wonderful
The best thing in my life
Don't be embarrassed for shedding tears
With me here tonight

Obviously there is still work that needs to be done with it, but thats the first part of it! Ohhh I love having a creative wordy mind :) <3

Nessie <3

Sign

I finished a song today, it's called "Signs". I really love it! Here it is, copyright...ME!

Thunder crashes, rain falls,
it's the calm before the storm,
tears are falling down my face,
i can't take this anymore.

The earth shakes, the air cracks,
my heart is breaking at the thought,
of not having you in my life,
and the happiness you've brought.

My feelins are so mixed
I don't know wat to do
please God send me a sign
Help me think it through

Things can be difficult
I don't know whats right
send me the help I need
I don't want to fight

My hand in yours our hearts are one,
baby don't ever leave, I love you,
please forgive me,
dont ever leave me be

My feelins are so mixed
I don't know wat to do
please God send me a sign
Help me think it through

Things can be difficult
I don't know whats right
send me the help I need
I don't want to fight

Feels like my hearts on fire,
like a big hot flame
or maybe wrapped in barb wire,
i cant forget your name

My feelins are so mixed
I don't know wat to do
please God send me a sign
Help me think it through

Things can be difficult
I don't know whats right
send me the help I need
I don't want to fight

the lights flicker on and off,
i take it as a sign
this will last for eternity,
ill never leave you behind

I know now how I feel
my heart screams your name
I just want to hold you
I'm so glad you came

Thank you God for everything
I know everything is good
I love this man with all my heart
and all that I could,

and would
and should
Oh, I love him